Dating Tips

Words by Thomas Jamison

Instead of spreading out some of the recent relationship questions that have come in Monday’s Mailbag recently, we compiled four that had to do with the holiday season, and will answer them all in this post. As always a special thanks to our readers for sending in the questions and comments, and we look forward to seeing more in 2011.

Question 1: “I’ve been dating this girl for a little over 2 months. Is that too soon to bring her home to mom for Christmas?” – T.J

T.J, only you know when is too soon or not. If you are used to having your love interest meet your family early on, then it would be normal. I know the holiday season adds a little extra pressure, as the family will probably be all around, but don’t sweat it. If you are really into this girl, and know your mom won’t scare her away, go for it.

Question 2: “I have been with my girlfriend for over a year, but recently fell on hard times financially. I really can’t afford a gift this year, but don’t want to disappoint her…” - Cliff

Cliff,
If your girl of almost a year isn’t aware of the rough spot you are going through, that might be your first mistake. Honest communication throughout the relationship will help negate a lot of the holiday stress we put ourselves through. With that said, you still may want to look at giving her something, just be more creative. Show how much you love her by putting some real thought into the things she’s into. Cook her favorite meal for a week for her, or do something for her that she’s been putting off. I once dated a woman who hated doing anything for her car, and hated the paint on the walls of the townhouse she had just bought. For her birthday, I surprised her by painting the whole downstairs of her place while she was at work, and getting her car tune up and detailed the following. The total “cost” wasn’t as much to me as what she wanted originally, but the appreciation for what I did lasted the lifetime of the relationship.

Question 3: “This will be our first Christmas together, and with 3 weeks to go before the holiday weekend, we are still arguing over where to spend it at. I have NEVER missed a Christmas with my family, no matter who I am dating, and he said he hasn’t been home for the holidays in 3 years, and promised he would be there….” – Alecia’

Alecia’,
This dilemna is one that you two should have ironed out a while ago. Since it seems by the letter you both are very passionate over your families during the holidays, I suggest you compromise. If you have just the weekend, show him how much you care and go with him to meet his family this year, with the agreement that next year you two will be with your loved ones. He SHOULD appreciate it, and realize you are willing to compromise in the relationship to make both of you happy long term.

Question 4: ” I recently broke up with my man, and this will be my first Christmas single in a while. I haven’t been in the mood to celebrate the holidays with anyone, and wish I could fast forward to 2011!…” – Tamika

Tamika,
You feel like most recently single people during the holidays. At a time where family and loved ones is thrown in your face at every turn, being single during this time can be tough, and if you aren’t used to it, could cause depression to set in. I’m not a Dr. Phil or anything, but I would suggest you surround yourself around friends, co-workers, someone or something else that will keep you positive and in good spirits. Resist calling any ghosts of boyfriends past to cuddle up too just because.

If you want to get your question answered on “Monday’s Mailbag“, send us a note here.

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