5 Things We Learned from Tigers Divorce

Words by Thomas Jamison

Tiger Woods worst period of his life has come closer to ending, after the divorce between ex-wife Elin Nordegren and himself was finalized yesterday. The ordeal that was on full display for the world to see not only aired out all of Tigers dirty laundry, but cost him millions in endorsements, and helped aid to the worst playing stretch of his pro career. What can you learn from Tiger’s situation that you can apply to your own? Plenty probably. I have narrowed down the list to five important things I took away from it all.

5. Don’t text the jumpoffs.
Take a page out of the mafias book, and make moves in silence. In today’s hi tech society, nothing really is done without some form of surveillance, but putting evidence of your dirt on your phone is worse than handwriting a letter.

4. Kids make divorce worse.
If Tiger’s cheating only impacted Elin, he would be paying, but not as much as due to the fact he created this storm for his family. While they will share custody of the kids, infidelity on the mother of your kids and wife is as big a moral sin in America as you can do.

3. It’s cheaper to keep her.
The divorce settlement figures are not final, but People.com reports the amount of assets headed to Elin will be somewhere between 100-500 million. Paying your ex wife a half a billion dollars because you wants some new booty? Damn….

2. Everything and everyone suffers by your horny decisions.
Tiger’s career, wallet, family, and friends all have been impacted by the last 10 months, with allegation after allegation coming from women that no one would have tied to the squeaky clean Woods of years past. But Tiger was no different than most guys, as on paper it looked like he had it all, but like many, he wanted what he couldn’t(or shouldn’t) have.

1. Don’t get married if you are rich, famous, and under 45.
Tiger could still be living the dream if he never got married in the first place. He could still be smashing all the porn stars he wanted, probably still be the best golf player in the world, and still have his endorsements and politican image. At age 34, his public life is nowhere near over, and he does have time to repair it, but it definitely will never be the same again. Elin can fade to black, even richer than she was before the marriage, and go on with her life with the sympathy of the public, and a few commas extra from Tiger to thank.

Tagged as: Relationships, Tiger Woods