Take A Break or Break Up?

Do breaks really work in relationships? In today’s Mondays Mailbag, YB reader Dwayne drops us a note asking that very question.

YoungBrothas,
My girl and I have been going through some problems over the past few months, and though we have been dating nearly 2 years now, we have seen better days. About a month ago, we had a real bad argument, which got us to a point where she asked me she wanted to have a break from us dealing with each other. My gut tells me to just leave it alone, and not care anymore, but my heart is tied to her. What should I do?

Check our answer after the jump.

Dwayne,
The answer to your question is one that requires faith more than anything else. You simply have two choices. If you do nothing, and “take a break”, you are letting her control the relationship, and are at the mercy of when she is ready to resume it. If you throw in the towel on things, you may regret that move, and try to get back together under false pretense that things are better, when they aren’t. I gotta ask you two questions…

1. What series of events got you guys to the point she is saying that?

2. Did you do anything in the relationship that would make her feel this way?

Depending on your answers to both, the reason your soon to be ex feels the way she is could be validated. Best advice given here is to always follow your gut. Even when things don’t make sense, your gut will tell you what to do. Those who make decisions in relationships based on their heart often wind up heart-broken. Their are always underlying signs of issues in a relationship, and taking a break usually doesn’t fix them. Time and distance apart will allow the person asking for that to start working on them, and get you out of their system. No communication or interaction is their way of starting the process of becoming single again, without officially breaking it off. Ask yourself, do you really want to do that?

Tagged as: Dating Tips, Mondays Mailbag, Relationships