She Doesnt Turn Me On…

In this week’s Monday’s Mailbag, a YB reader shares the realization that hits many fellas at one point in a relationship. What do you do when you are no longer physically attracted to your girl?

Me and my girl have been dealing with each other for two years almost, but ever since we been exclusive she stopped going to the gym, and has put on some weight. She isn’t a big girl or nothing, but 30 lbs over 2 years is alot. I stay in the gym 4 times a week, so as soon as I saw her stop working out, it made me think if she was doing that just to catch a man, and now she’s slacking. I don’t wanna cheat on her, but its so bad now I don’t get turned on when we have sex.

- Deshawn

Check out our answer after the jump.

Deshawn,
Your question/dilemna is one usually brothas have after a woman has a child. In your case, it seems your girl has stopped keeping herself up since you two starting dating, which raises all sorts of red flags. First, I would ask you if you have brought this to her attention? If so, what is the answer given as to why she isn’t working out anymore? Making her aware that you noticed she isn’t working out anymore is better than bluntly telling her she is fat. The other red flag I noticed in your scenario is the effect it is having on your relationship. If your sex life has been impacted by this, sooner or later you will start looking elsewhere(if you havent already) for that gratification. Now, if she is still fully vested in this relationship, there may be other factors going on as to why she has stopped working out. There may be stress on the job, or even a health issue. Those answers can only be found from you and her having some honest communication.

My advice to you is to sit down with her, express what you have noticed(her not working out), ask if perhaps you two can be workout partners(show you are interested in being there with her to get her back on track) and see what she says. If she has no interest in that, then you can draw your own conclusion.

Tagged as: Mondays Mailbag, Relationships, Sex, workouts