Mirror, Mirror…

A YB Ladies Week Exclusive
Guest Blog by Traci A. Smith of S.H.E Agency

When was the last time you stopped and took a good look at yourself in the mirror? I don’t mean when you washed your face and brushed your teeth when you woke up this morning. Did you stop and analyze the details of your face. Did you see lines, bags, moles, pimples, freckles or wrinkles? Did it make you happy or sad? Did you judge yourself harshly? Or did you tell yourself that you are the greatest. Do you recognize what your flaws are? Do you accept your flaws? Or are you slowly learning how to accept those flaws?

I asked these questions because we have standard of what we look for in a mate. But are those standards realistic? Ask yourself, “Can I meet those standards that I expect my mate to have?” If not, you may need to re-evaluate the list. You must realize that you won’t find everything you want in one package. No one is perfect.

For an example, when looking for a new car, you will find the standard items in all cars and then you have the choice of selecting additional “luxury” items to add to the standard package. Sometimes we have to give up certain features to get those “luxury” items. All cars will have automatic windows/door locks, seat beats, radio/cd player, and other basic needs. The “luxury” items would be things like seat warmers, sunroof, GPS system and other gadgets. The seat warmers would be nice to have but will that stop you from driving to your next destination if you don’t have it? Yes, it would be great to stay warm in the winter months but what about the summer months when your seat is very hot. Do we have coolers for when your seat is steaming hot? Or do you just get a towel and place it on the seat and drive on.

Now go back to your mirror and ask yourself these questions. How will you feel if someone put your same standard that you expect in a mate and put it on you? Would you pass the test? Does it make you feel self-conscious or less than a person? Can you hold your head up and accept all of yourself with flaws and all? Just find a package you can live with.

Now how did you come up with your standard? Is your standard base off of movies, novels, or celebrities’ lifestyles? We tend to live up to the ideas that celebrities’ wives or husbands have it made. Do you know that actors/actresses spend many months away from their significant other and/or children for months at a time just to make a movie? Athletics spend more time on the road than at home. Most don’t live a “normal” family life. But that is the price he or she pays for the fame and money. Some tends to think that marrying someone famous is the “ticket out” of poverty or to get access to things only a select few can access to because of their status. So, is your standard made of material things?

Let’s dig deeper. Search within yourself and ask yourself the following questions. What life experiences made you come up with the standard you expect in a mate? Did your family play a role in this? Did the media tell you what you should look for? Did your friends tell you what you should look for? Is this what you really want and look for? We put too much value into worrying about what people or media say about us instead of worry about what you think of yourself? We are too busy trying to compete with the “Joneses” by trying to be the “Joneses”.

Have you really looked in the mirror and see the “real” you? The inside can end up being not a pretty picture on the outside and leave your mirror all cracked up every time you look at yourself in the mirror. No one likes a broken mirror. We rather just replace it than to try to fix the damage. Don’t let the crack continue to spread and ruin how you look in the mirror.

Tagged as: Guest Blog, Relationships