Do Relationships Without Sex Exist?

This week’s Monday Mailbag question comes from a female reader of ours who asks this very good question. YoungBrothas.com wanted to get the voice of a female we knew and respected, and we were pleased that Danyelle of TheCubicleChick.com was up to the task. Check out the Q and A after the jump.

If you guys could do a topic about platonic relationships or intimate relationships without sex? First let me say that I am done with and pass the casual dating/ sexing phase of my life and am now ready for something more permanent and because of certain events in my dating life I’ve decided that from now on to put more focus on building a strong foundation of a relationship first with a man and less emphasis on having sex. I figured that sex will always be there and if I really meant something to you and this was important to me, surely you could wait right? Or am i being naive? So my question i guess really is are the young and successful black men today into being in an intimate relationship with a woman without having sex with her. Or into the age old tradition of waiting until marriage for sex?

- Brittany

First of all, Brittany, I want to applaud you for wanting to take another look at relationships with the opposite sex in a different perspective. Oftentimes as women, we keep making the same mistakes over and over again because we are unwilling to look within ourselves to see exactly what went wrong with the past problems we’ve had with men.

As for your question, I know there are men out there who value a true relationship with their women even without sex. Just like it is unfair for men to lump all of us women into one category, the same is true with men. We have to judge each man that we deal with differently. There are successful men that will have a relationship without sex, but to be honest, they are far and few between. Before delving into a relationship, you need to communicate what you want and don’t want from a man. That way, if the two of you are not on the same page, there hasn’t been much invested. Also know that some men will act like they are okay with this idea and cheat anyway because they have a need for sex. Keep your eyes open and always go with your first instincts. If he is too good to be true, then girl, there is your answer.

Be smart about your love life just as you are about other facets in your life including your career, etc. Also, be honest and real. Sex is an important component in relationships when it comes to men. If you want to wait until marriage to have sex, stick to your guns and find a man who is understanding of this fact. It may be hard to find, but there are some men out there who are successful and who will wait if you ware worth waiting for. I actually know of one successful black man in particular who is a dear friend of mine who is currently celibate and waiting until after marriage to have sex. He is a perfect example of the type of gentleman you are looking for. I wish you good luck in finding mister right!

Danyelle Little
The Cubicle Chick
Blogging about the Fabulous Life of Juggling Work, Life, & Mommydom
http://www.thecubiclechick.com

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Gotta relationship question for the YB Fam? Drop us a note and yours could be next on Monday’s Mailbag!

Tagged as: Guest Blog, Mondays Mailbag, Relationships, Sex