Case of The Ex

No matter how much you may cringe at those words, at some point, in some relationship, you probably have heard them. “My ex used to do….”, or “In the past, I’ve been used to my ex ….”. While at times, your girl may say these things in an attempt to reinforce a point in an argument, other times it may be brought up to piss you off. How do you know the difference, and how do you deal with the constant comparisons?

There are generally three reasons a woman will bring up comparisons on a continuous basis to their ex. They see a difference in how they are treated emotionally, financially, or sexually.

They are still in love with him, and you might be the rebound.

Depending on how long it has been since she has been apart from him, she might simply be still in love with that very ex you are getting compared to all too often. If you realize that you are Mr. Right Now a.k.a the rebound, act accordingly.

He gave more, had more, or did more for her.

A woman who brings up the ex often did at some point enjoy the benefits that relationship gave her. Perhaps that man allowed her a financial stability she never had prior, or he spoiled her with attention. You may bring to the table a different set of positives, but lack in some she used to have. If this is the case, both of you have to make a decision. For your girl, is she willing to live with what you don’t have, to enjoy what you do offer? The other question is one you must ask yourself. Do you really want to be with someone that may not be completely compatible with you?

He was better in bed.

This may be the ultimate ego crush for any man, and one in which some women would not share with their current man, unless to spite him. If she is used to having a brotha put it down in the bed like Mr. Marcus, and you..dont…quite…measure…up, the comparisons are gonna come, and usually she’s gonna be talking to her girls about it.

So what do you do if you find yourself in this situation?

First thing you must do is confront her on it. The longer you wait and hope things will get better on their own, the worse they will get. You must also make your girl make that tough decision right there. If you have any self respect, you must let her know she may find herself on the verge of having another ex boyfriend unless things change. Lastly, you must believe what you say, and don’t be afraid to walk away. Sometimes guys get lost in the sauce, and put up with much more than they normally would if they were thinking clear. Don’t find yourself in that situation.

Mya – Case of the Ex

Tagged as: Dating, Relationships