Words by Thomas Jamison
A few weeks ago, I wrote a column on why we love our cougars. As you can see, there were some interesting replies from that article. Today, I decided to talk about the one topic that may touch a nerve among some of our sistas that read the site on the regular.
Interracial dating is a very popular, controversial topic in our community, that draws out all sorts of emotions. Many sistas feel that women from other races are taking “all the good black men” left. Fact is, those “good black men” are making the choice to be with a white woman over a black woman.
So why is it that brothas choose white women? I talked to a few brothas who are dating white women currently, and this is what they had to say.
They are easy.
That is a myth. Hoes will be hoes, no matter the age, social class, or skin color. I have had just as many sistas give it up on the first date as white girls.
They give me money.
I’ve had women buy me things, but never give me dough. Not saying it can’t happen, but it hasn’t.
They won’t date me for my money.
If you believe that, then your gullible ass deserves everything that will happen to you.
They aren’t drama queens like Black women.
All women can cause some form of drama, one way or another.
They give better head.
From personal experience, this one might be true….
They are willing to try ANYTHING….
Ok, this one too…
They are getting back at the sistas who dissed them.
This one was interesting. I had a brotha tell me one time that the reason he dates white and asian women is that when he was a broke nerd in school, none of the black women gave him any play. Now that he is an pharmacist in Sacramento, CA making nearly 400,000 a year, they all sweat him as he drives a Range and a S600 around town.
As you can see, there was a wide array of reasons given to me through simply talking to brothas who were in interracial relationships in some form. Now, it’s your turn. What’s your take on why brothas date white women? For the sistas, does it bother you at all? Drop us a comment and let us know.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I encourage all you black women who read this garbage to date outside your race. If you don't want to go all out for a white boy, get a latino guy but please stop waiting on these black men to get it together because I doubt if it will ever happen.
I say let the white bitches have them most of them aren't worth a damn anyway!
Most sistas never give us a chance cos we too broke or we're too this or that ! So we go lookin for greener pastures ..nothing wrong with that..funny thing is when you do eventually make it (which you should) thesame sistas become all 'into you' ! wht a life !..we don't like you nomore ..but we'd still hit that !
The last line of the comment posted before mine is why I say they aren't worth a damn anyway and my point was well proven……..Thanks derrick for being as ignorant as they come!
"They give better head.
From personal experience, this one might be true….
They are willing to try ANYTHING….
Ok, this one too…"
It doesn't bother me, unless they do it because of stereotypes…likethose
I agree, but the same can be said of women of other races dating black guys cuz they think all of them are packin *no homo*
It makes me sad to see comments like that though as a black woman. You have the right to love who you love, but some black men take it to the extreme and exclude all black women for petty reasons like the ones mentioned. It's sad because black men and black women have built a beautiful beautiful culture and sometimes I feel like both bm and bw don't have any respect for the culture we've built or for what we as a people had to go through to get where we are today. It's sad…it really is. Black american culture was built by black men and black women and its a shame some people don't see that beauty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTg5V2oA_hY
could be a decision based entirely on some superficial reason but from what i see and hear plus my own experiences its cause a lot of em simply wont give a guy the time of day unless he fits some stringent set of guidelines mostly based around money or some fallacious 'hood' image AND money, i've found no shortage of black women who set this as the cornerstone to their requirements for even speaking to them going so far as to say stuff like 'if he dont spend money on me then i dont got time for him' in some form or fashion so as for myself seeing as i'm not rich and i cant afford $300 shoes or whatever since i have to grind everyday for my slice of which i'm proud and grateful i'm pretty much content to accept a girl who accepts me regardless of race.black girls are beautiful but they arent goddesses perhaps some of em should stop worshiping look at some of us hard working guys before they decide what suits them best people are so obsessed with money nowadays what happened to being content i'm not tryin to be a hater but whats wrong with NOT wearing $1000s worth of clothes and jewels and still being in a stable situation…
"This one was interesting. I had a brotha tell me one time that the reason he dates white and asian women is that when he was a broke nerd in school, none of the black women gave him any play. Now that he is an pharmacist in Sacramento, CA making nearly 400,000 a year, they all sweat him as he drives a Range and a S600 around town.
As you can see, there was a wide array of reasons given to me through simply talking to brothas who were in interracial relationships in some form. Now, it’s your turn. What’s your take on why brothas date white women? For the sistas, does it bother you at all? Drop us a comment and let us know."
This is ridiculous…black men like this are annoying. As if every bw dissed him and the ones who never knew him before have NOTHING to do w/ his hang ups against bw. how can someone hold a whole group responsible for the actions of a small portion of the black woman population? I guess all white women automatically support bm in all their endeavors and all bw automatically don't…ridiculous
I came across this site after doing a google search for Hasani Pettiford's book. I'm not exactly sure if my comments are welcome here, but I'll give it a shot. I felt I had to as some of the comments posted by some Black women here are disturbing.
I find the comments on this post interesting to say the least. For the most part, I hear individuals saying you should or should not date outside of your race because of something that is for the most part, unrelated to love. To the sista who said Black women should date outside their race because of comments posted on a blog, and because you feel that "Black men can't get it together" is absolutely ridiculous. I get dismayed over negative comments about Black men the same way I would be dismayed concerning negative comments about Black women. It is a shame. And I would like to stress that all Black men and women are not at each other's throats.
(continuing from previous comment)…
If for some reason you constantly attract Black men or women with less than desirable qualities, maybe you should also do some soul searching to really get to understand why. I did this for myself, and came out a happier, more fulfilled woman because now I know what I am looking for and what it takes to get the relationship I desire. I ignore negative comments about Black women because all Black women do not fit the stereotypes many believe.
I urge us all to take a step back, look at ourselves, and start communicating effectively. The nonsense posted on many sites is simply disturbing.