Why Your Girl is Cool With Her Exs

Words by Thomas Jamison

There are some things in life I have given up on trying to understand. Things like why do I pay for water, or Who determined that 40 hours was a work week are questions I may never know the true answer too. However, in 2010, I have learned why your girl is still cool with her ex’s, because one of my ex’s broke it down.

As a single guy, I enjoy the bachelor life a lot. There are times(few) that I miss being in a committed relationship, but for the most part, I’m good doin me. Women I have dealt with, in general, have all been the same regarding relationships. They LOVE to be in them. Many of my ex’s have not been single more than one year during their adult life, and it seems the older they get, the moment one relationship ends, they are in a frantic pace to jump in another. I know that’s a generalization, but I call it like I see it.

Recently, I had an ex contact me out of the blue, with the excuse being it was the holidays. I was with “Kim” for almost a year, however things got to a point that we mutually decided it was best for us to just be friends. Now, before the fellas try to say she put me in the friend zone, let me define our version of friends. Kim is the type of girl I dedicate this post too. On the surface, she has it together. She’s a 27 year old insurance sales rep, two houses in her name(1 rental property), car paid off, degree on the wall, and no kids. Again, on the surface, things look perfect.

Kim has an issue when it comes to making tough decisions. Early on in our relationship I could tell that she was never good at telling guys it was over, so many men in her past would pop up via call, e-mail, or text from time to time checking in to see if she had moved on. Of course, she would say “I am with T.J now”, but that never really ended anything. At first, I thought it was simply due to these guys persistence, as they realized they had a good girl, and wanted her back. As I became an ex, I realized it was more of her keeping ALL her options open, even in current relationships.

Getting back to this past Christmas, Kim hit me up to wish me Happy Holidays. I had not seen her since we had broken up, and when the invite to drop by to see how she decorated her house for Christmas was extended, I didn’t decline it. Now, I knew that Kim was seeing someone currently, and according to her, she was “very happy” and “completely in love” with the guy she was with. She was simply in the holiday spirit, and wanted to spend some time with her ex, to catch up on old times, right? Fellas, if you believe that justification a woman( or your woman) gives you…

So after I banged her back out, we showered and started to have pillow talk. I don’t know if, again, Kim was trying to justify her actions by speaking them verbally or what, but what followed was funny. She went on to talk about how we had a bond that she would never forget, and always could count on me to be there when she needed me. I nodded my head and listened, all along thinking, “Damn I’m glad I’m not the sucka anymore in this situation.”

Kim is friends with nearly all her ex’s. While I didn’t think it then, I could only assume now she has had relapses with nearly all of them while in relationships, and seems to be ok with it. Fellas, take heed to the warning. If your girl is still friends with her ex, odds are her ex still wants to hit it, or is still getting it. She may love you, but she really LOVES how he makes her feel.

Tagged as: Dating Tips, ex boyfriends, Relationships