In the very short time that YoungBrothas.com has been up(just over a month now), we have had increased comments, questions, and suggestions dropped to us on the Contact Us page. Though we did not originally advertise it as such, if you have a question regarding your relationship you want us to write about, drop it there. Our first question from the mailbag comes from Corey from Chester, PA, who writes the following…
“I’m hoping y’all can give a n*gga some advice regarding my relationship. I love my girl to death, and planned on proposing to her this Valentines Day, but there is a issue I got that aren’t getting any better. I’ve told her about the sh*t plenty of times, but she is set in her ways. The beef I got is with her and her guy friends. I never was one to have alot of girls as friends. If I wasn’t f#ckin them, then f#ck em, feel me? My girl’s got a best friend at her job that’s a guy, and a friend she went to school with that she talk to damn near everyday. Neither one of these n*ggas have girls, and I know at least the 1 at the job tried to holla at her a few times, but she shut that down.
I asked her that I wasn’t cool with her guy friends cuz I know they wanna be more than that, and she started trippin, sayin they were there first. What the F#ck should I do?
Corey,
First off, it sounds just by the note that you obviously love and care about your girl an awful lot. You didn’t say how long you two have been together, but I’m gonna assume you two have a pretty solid foundation. That being said, you obviously have some reservations regarding her male friends. If she has never given you any reason to think she has been unfaithful to you, then you need to trust your girl. Since you are at a point that you two are talking about a long-term commitment, i.e marriage, I am also going to assume you have had some serious discussions about your expectations of each other. Dating and marriage are completely different, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Dating is similar to renting a house. You get all the nice benefits, but when your stay is up, you walk away with no obligations. Marriage is buying the house. It’s a commitment that you have to think long and hard about, and make sure you truly are ready for it.
From experience, when her guy friends find out that she is now engaged to you, their responses will be one of two ways. True friends will be genuinely excited and happy for her. Guys that have ulterior motives may try to use their leverage in the friendship to “change” her mind. Those are the guys that when you two have arguments, they are telling her “he ain’t sh#t”. Those guys are no better than her nosy girlfriend, and the moment you recognize she has some of them, know what you are dealing with. I hope this helps.
Gotta relationship question for the YB Fam? Drop us a note and yours could be next on Monday’s Mailbag!
![Top 5 50 Cent Beefs Ever [VIDEO]](http://youngbrothas.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/50-murderinc.jpg)
![Michael Vick – The Comeback Kid [VIDEO]](http://youngbrothas.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/michael-vick-si-cover-2010.jpg)
Loading ...
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I personally have a best friend who is a woman and I get the flack from her boyfriends all the time. Asking if I'm trying to get at her or not. The conversation has arisen several times. From a first hand experience, if the chance if offered I would take it, but I understand she is in a relationship and we're in a friendship and those lines should and do not cross. I know my boundaries. My advice to you would see how they interact with each other, with me and my female friend we act like brother and sister and thats what I consider her. You can tell if the relationship is platonic by the way they interact and they way he acts towards you.
Thanks for your post Mr. Wiley.
You made an interesting point. You said on one hand you would hit it if she gave you the chance, but you would never cross that boundary because you look at her like a sister. Im confused?
Meaning, at one point in time that would have been an option, she always tells me that nothing could never between us because we've been friends for too long. Most of the men she dates I try to keep an optimistic opinion about, but when asked what I think about them I'm going to tell the truth, only for her best interest.
Does she do the same about the women you date?
i think people lie to themselves, especially guys about whether or not your attracted to your "friend". 98% of the guys with a female friend, are attracted her in one form or another, you may be able to restrain yourself, and not "cross that line", because of the risk being higher than the award, but on the other hand, if that woman pressed the issue, you would have sex with that girl 10 times out of 10.
a woman having many "guy" friends will always be a red flag.
Thanks for the comment Dre. Couldn\’t have said it better myself!
so my girl says we need to take a breake, then all of a sudden is hanging out wit this guy, got drunk hooked up wit him, and talking to hime everyday all day. Yet me and her continue to to hang out and interact as if we still together and she continues to say they are just freiends and the hook-up was nothing? Am i getting played?